A long long time ago (well actually before time existed) in a galaxy (but not because no galaxys existed) God existed. And He created the world and everything, and it was great. He made a couple of humans too, and they where great as well, for a while. Then of course they (being humans and wasting their ability to choose between right and wrong) did exactly the one thing that God told them not to do. Their lack of perfection meant they couldn't be in a close relationship anymore. Actually it meant a bit more than that. By going against God these two humans had deliberately stepped away from God and everything good, and taken the rest of history with them.
So with the world going down the drain because of humanities failings, God showed humanity that at least He knew what He was doing.
So He sent an angel to visit an un-married virgin (for society at the time virgin and un-married where synonymous) teenage girl, telling her that she was pregnant and that the baby would be God's son and the saviour of the world. Needless to say her future husband wasn't best pleased and neither where any of the neighbours. So he thought, "hey I'm a decent bloke, I'm not having all these people saying I knocked her up" so he was going to break it off. Luckily for him (because how much of a blow would that be if you found that the woman you where going to marry ended up fathering the saviour of the world) an angel turned up and set him straight, and he decides to go ahead with the marriage. Mary went off to visit her relative who was also pregnant with another baby. When she gets back it turns out that Joseph (for that's her husbands name) has to go off to bethlehem for some arcane Roman scheme to make more money by taking a census. So off they go, mary heavily pregant as she is (thankfully they've got a donkey). They finally get to Bethlehem, but they ain't got anywhere to stay, so they wandered around a bit and eventually found a stable that they could stay in. So mary gave birth that night in the midst of all the animals, and after wiping off the blood and gooeyness wrapped up little baby Jesus (that's his name by the way, the baby) and put him in a manger (that's a feeding trough to you and me).
Now as this was the most important event in the whole world up to this point, the angels where pretty happy. One of these angels appears before so low class bottom of the shepheding ladder shepherds and tells them the good news. Needless to say they are terrified, but when thousands of angels appeared giving praise and thanks they thought it was worth investigating. So they went off and found Jesus,and where pretty impressed, so went off telling eveyone else about little baby Jesus. Mary was just ever so slightly amazed by the fact that these angels where rejoicing and praising God over the birth of her son.
Anyway sometime passed, and they stayed in Bethlehem for a bit, and Jesus had a birthday or two, and then some wise men turned up. They'd seen a star in the east and had come to see what it was all about. They where wisemen, and knew that this star meant the birth of a king, so when they asked at the palace and couldn't find out anything they where most perplexed. Fortunately some of the Jewish scholars knew that the saviour of the world would come from Bethlehem, so they sent the wisemen off that way. They wisemen eventually found Jesus and where generally awe struck. They bowed down and gave gifts to him, Gold for a king, incense for a priest, and myrrh for a death. That done they where about to head home via the palace to tell the king that they'd found the saviour, but an angel told them to skip the palace and go home another way. Herod (for that was the kings name) found out they'd scarped without telling him which child was going to rule, so he got a bit annoyed, actually he got mightly, furiously angry. He wanted to stay as king, and didn't want some little jewish baby to become the future king, the best way of stopping this he reasoned was to kill the baby. Not knowing which baby it was, he thought that the best way of doing this was to kill all the boys of 2 years and younger who lived in Bethlehem and the surrounding areas. Luckily for Jesus an angel warned Joseph to run away to Egypt. So he took his family and left, while Herod butchered all the children.
And that's christmas. Obviously it doesn't end there, it sort of ends when Jesus goes on to fix all the problems with the world, it really ends when the world does. I'll get to how of that some other time. But for now you'll just have to believe me that he did.
Merry Christmas everyone
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