Top Five Things To Do To Adapt And Survive In Albert Square

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  • When you talk about your children (especially when being disparaging about them) do it when they are standing behind you. Then when you finish turn around and look at their expression of shock and see them run off. Then call out "insert name here, I didn't mean it". Yeah, of course you didn't
  • When making annoucements that contain vital, and shocking information, always make them in the vic, on a friday night, late in the evening. This way you won't have to deal with the consequences of your annoucements till monday morning
  • Talk about "fammileeee" a lot, like it's the most important thing in the world to you. Then when they are not around moan about them to your friends, saying how terrible they turned out and how insert name of older deceased relative would be terribly dissapointed with them
  • When asked about your past make sure you only admit to having one (at most) living older relative. No-one in albert square ever has more than one older relative and if you do, you're clearly an invader and should be taken outside of the square and stoned to death.
  • Have an affair, it'd look terribly out of place if you didn't

Right Now

(8)Jo whiley, and an ace song by a band called OK Go
(t)Helenoo (it works now!)
(e)NAFF ALL!

There are 5 expressions of opinion about what was written.
Mark wrote this at 11:11, Wed, 22/01/03, Link
Filed in Top Five

Your Comments

stoobs

this post is clearly for eastenders fans, and so im not reading it

Written by stoobs at 14:53, Wed, 22/01/03

Alasdair

I second that!

Written by Alasdair at 16:50, Wed, 22/01/03

Stetler

Third!

Written by Stetler at 20:25, Wed, 22/01/03

Sparticus

DO NOT INSULT THE GREAT AND MIGHTY 'STENDERS!

Written by Sparticus at 21:39, Wed, 22/01/03

Kate

if i lived in albert square i'd have an affair with alfie.
what a guy :)

Written by Kate at 22:30, Wed, 22/01/03

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