i am sparticus: Words
Go Speed Site Go!
For all those who, whenever they load this lovely site clock how long it takes, you'll have noticed a sudden increase in speed. Because, due to the wonders of Apache, .htaccess files and scripty goddess I'm now semi-zipping all the files on the server, so they still look like the files, and act like the files, but are much smaller.
Joy!
Needless to say this comes in much handiness for iamsparticus.co.uk version 10, which is so massive that it's starting to drag in other parts of this website, in some gravitiational/website style force.
In other news, I played basketball today. Go Me.
Battle Monkey Goes Baboom
I don't know where Dan Shanklin finds these crazy things, but he sure is good at finding them
Running out of bandwidth
Yo!
So today our site died a electronic death. It ran out of bandwidth and sank below the murky waves of internet. Fortunately Stetler dearest was on hand with her mighty credit card of doom and brought it up out of the depths like a great big virtual duck. You know, those ducks that dive down underwater to get food, the one Rhys spent about 10 hours staring at at reading. Coots, that's the one.
Well that ruined the short attempt at poetically describing what happened to our website. Some people forgot to pay the bills basically.
Anyway it's all back now, and back with a lovely new design. Except it's not, because it's still not finished. I'm lazy, what can I say?
That's all.
Oh except {kate} got a cat. The lucky girl. I'll trade her cat for three dogs.
More Protests!
I like to make it perfectly clear I have no objects to protests. I have no objections to people using their democratic right to protest. I have no objection to people protesting outside the main government building of their local major town. I do however, have objections to people then standing in the middle of the most important bus route in sheffield, bringing public transport to a halt. Even more so i have objections to people yelling out "police brutality" when the police kindly ask them to move along/back/forward/any direction they like so long as it's off the road. gah I'm getting so old! I'm gonna start moaning about bus fares soon.
--update--
Stupid late trains, I got home stupidly late. Grrr
Anyway, I say we should quit marching as we are. We should instead start doing sit down vigils every night, to show the troops that we are hoping/praying for their saftey and for the safe end to the war. It seems better than just carrying on with the same thing we where doing a month a go
A planet of sound!
So today we did about war in my youth group. Twas ace. We watched some of the news, then talked about what Jesus would do if he was there. Then we looked at Matthew 5:9 then Matthew 5:9, Matthew 5:38-39, Matthew 5:43-44, Matthew 26:52 and Isaiah 53:7 and talked about how Jesus talked about how individuals we should love our enemies and turn the other cheek. But then we looked at Romans 13: 1-5 which is all about Governments being instruments of God's justice.
And then we talked about whether a just war was possible, and if so was this war a just war.
Then we looked finally at Isaiah 2:2-4 which is all about the peace that'll come at the end of the world.
Of course when I say talked I mean kinda talked about while also talking about Gareth Gates, Boys, Gareth Gates, Txt messages, Gareth Gates and lemonade.
Then because I couldn't think of any new games we just played the same old games but with added dizziness.
However as good as it was, it was no way near as good as the fairly odd parents was this evening. Sample quote "This might sound clichÈ but throw my head into that costume shop clearance bin." Greatest. kids. cartoon. ever.
It's been a hard days night
Carrying on in the all new tradition of starting entries with updates on iamsparticus.co.uk version 10, I'll tell you all that it's going grand! I just spent a while fiddling with tiny bits of code, which ended up me getting rid of a lot of it, and then realising that I didn't need it anyway.
You know when you do something, and then you add something, then you alter the old thing because of the new thing, then you change the new thing, so you alter it some, then alter the old thing to look right, and so on, untill you are left with something that has huge amounts of lines of code for a tiny thing. I did that, so I deleted it all and changed it from 15 lines to 1. Anyway it was most frustrating but rewarding. I listened to the pixies all they way through though, so that was endlessly cheering!
(8)"'Are you looking for the motherlode?' 'no, noo my child this is not my desire' and then she said 'I'm digging for fire, I'm digging for fire, firreeeeeeeee'"
That aside, today I changed surgeries, as I was told by the good doctor yesterday that I should. This was entirely uneventful apart from the nurse asking me to put water into a plastic cylinder type thing, and drop it off at the surgery next time I was passing. I presume she wants me to urinate into it, as she probably doesn't need my help to test local tap water. Still, you'd think as a proffesionally trained nurse she'd know it's not rude to say words like urinate. I probably wouldn't have thought less of her is she had even said wee, or pee. Well maybe if she said wee, but still, I digress "Cariboouuuuuuuuuuuu"
Oh and really finally mr. Lardpony sent me a copy of his lovely ep/cd thing-a-magig today, and it's absolutely fantastic. Go write him cheques and send him cash and stuff and get your own copy.
Oh my aching brain
Good News Everybody! iamsparticus.co.uk version 10 / version X / Operation Spangly Piechart continues relentlessly. If you define relentlessly as continually interrupted by visitiations of stetlers, illnesses and trying to read too many books in one day.
So today I've been ill, I was in bed all morning, if you define morning as the part of the day before midday excluding the part of the day when you go to the doctors to change surgerys and stuff. But as you may have guessed from my above unlucid ramblings I've spent a good part of the day reading books. So far today I've read the last 6 chapters of the street lawyer by John Grisham. Which is most excellent. As well as that I finished off Multiplying Churches which is another good read. And finally I started reading 1984 by George Orwell. I then promptly fell asleep and woke up to the smell of food. Which I sooo shouldn't have eaten.
Now I feel ill, but content in the knowledge that I have spent all day in bed. ALL DAY! Apart from the eatign and going to the doctors part.
Gee this rubbish has taken me like 2 hours to write.
Mmmmm Strong Bad
Which Homestar Runner character are you?
this quiz was made by jurjyfrort
Woohoo! Go Strongbad/Homestarrunner related nonsense!
Sparticus Redesigns Iamsparticus
Hey ladies! and gentlemen!
Right, earlier this year, or possibly even last year, I promised a fantastic new design for good old iamsparticus. 3 weeks ago I exclusively told Jaclyn it would be done by that Friday. Needless to say I lied, and now she's never going to speak to me again. Possibly.
Anyway, I blame everyone but me (especially microsoft internet explorer 5 and it's incorrect interpretation of the box model) for this lamentable occurence, so to make this up to me, and allow me to finish the redesign...
Can You All Go Here
It won't hurt, honest. All ou have to do is wait a few seconds while the page loads then select yes or no and click a button.
That's it!
The sooner you do it, the faster you get a shiny new design. The faster you get a design, the faster my web designing skills are appreciated by the public and I get given millions of pounds to make sites. When this occurs I'll give you all a shiny pound (or regional equivelant)!
So please go do it! especially if you have an old computer, don't use windows, or use some really odd crazy browser.
Thanks
I Am Kloot/Turin Brakes & Budapest/Tom Mcrae
Before someone turns up at this site thinking that it's for clever people who can read code, I'll regail you all with my review of "dumb and dumber" because it was on tv last night. Except I won't because it sucked, and I worked this out from the first 10-15 minutes. So instead you'll be treated to a live extravaganza! For last week I saw not one, not two, but FOUR WHOLE BANDS! over 2 days! It's like a mini festival! Anyway...
I Am Kloot
Where really quite good. They where opening for Turin Brakes and where very very amusing. They played all the stuff you'd want (Twist, To You, Storm Warning, 86 tv's etc...) and some new stuff which was quite nice, but best of all was the wittiness of mr. lead singer in responding to the heckles from the auidence. He was tres amusing. I would go into detail, but as there are 4 bands to review, I won't.
Turin Brakes
Where awesome! Really they where! They played fantapulously, with lots of extended gratuituos acoustic soloing and even more witty banter! Example...
Some Stupid Kid With Stupid High Pitched Voice: "We love you! I WANT YOUR BABIES!!"
Olly: "who is that? Kermit the frog? She needs some throat sweets or something!"
Gale: "you know what she needs? she needs some tunes!"
Drummer: does cymbal crash
Hilarious! What was even better was that I had some tunes, and threw them at Gale, and he thanked me. Bless. So yes, very good, as is the new album
So the next day I saw...
Budapest
If you know who Halo are then imagine them, but less muse like and more acoustic like. So quite good in a sort of way. They lacked stage banter like the others, but the keyboardist looked so happy I'll let them off.
Tom Mcrae
Was awesome. Best live perfomance this year me thinks, as he was slightly better than {martingrech} earlier this year. He played very well, had crazy eyes, sung beautifully and told us all excellent stories, about Tony Blair, Keeping his temper and sharks. The only one repeatable on a family site like this one was the shark one though. Basically...
"So this song is dedicated to my friend, I only have one see, as she's afraid of sharks. She lives in London and never goes to aquariums, so she's really got no reason to worry, unless of course a really big seagull picks one up and drops it on her head. This song isn't about sharks though."
His tony blair one was better, but it really was quite profane.
Go Tom Mcrae!
Oh for all those who care he played "cut her hair" "A & B's (he did a cool jig in the breakdown bit too!)" 2nd law, Lightning, Bubblegum, bloodless, sao paulo rain from the old stuff, and lots of excellent new one as well
Hooray!
Browsers!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, check out what I just did
<?php
/**first we've got to identfy the browser */
$toFind = "(";
$browser = str_replace( strchr($HTTP_USER_AGENT, $toFind), "", $HTTP_USER_AGENT);
/**the code above takes the first part out of the http user request, this will say the basics of the browser */
/**internet explorer work round */
/**due to msie identifying ie5.0 to ie6.0 as mozilla/4.0 we've got to work round that. So if the browser identifies as mozilla/4.0 we've then got to see if it's ie 6.0 or lower */
/**first we find out if the browser contains MSIE in it*/
$msiecheck = strpos($HTTP_USER_AGENT, "MSIE");
if ($msiecheck === false) {$msie = 'nay';} /**sets $msie as nay if it's not msie browser*/
else {$msie = 'yay';} /**sets $msie yay if it is msie browser*/
/**then we find out if the browser contains 6.0 in it*/
$msieversioncheck = strpos($HTTP_USER_AGENT, "6.0");
if ($msieversioncheck === false) {$msie6 = "nope";} /**sets $msie6 as nope if it's not version 6.0*/
else {$msie6 = "yay";} /**sets $msie6 as yay if it is 6.0 browser*/
/**that's the msie stuff set for use later. I may optimize this at somepoint so it'll only run if it's mozilla/4.0 but I'm not sure how to do that yet. So with that out of the way we can carry on*/
/** now we set the good browsers, that like css */
$goodbrowsers = ( 'Opera/7.01 Mozilla/5.0 Mozilla/6.0 Opera/7 Opera/6' );
/** I may add more to this list later, I've got to check which browsers I like and which I don't */
/**this is the part that checks to see if I have a browser from the list*/
$goodbrowsercheck = strpos($goodbrowsers, "$browser");
if ($goodbrowsercheck === false) {$goodorbad = 'bad';}
else {$goodorbad = 'good';}
/** now i've set everything I can start to use it all, this sets the $skin and newskin as what they should be.*/
if (!isset($newskin)) {
if ($msie == $msie6) $newskin=1;
elseif ($goodorbad == 'good') $newskin=1;
else $newskin=2;
}
elseif (isset($newskin)) {
$newskin=(int)$newskin;
if ($newskin<1) $newskin=1;
if ($newskin>2) $newskin=1;
} elseif (isset($skin)) {
$newskin=(int)$skin;
if ($skin<1) $newskin=1;
if ($skin>2) $newskin=1;
}
$skin=$newskin;
setcookie ('skin', "", time() - 3600);
setcookie('skin',$newskin,time()+(86400*365),'/');
setcookie('skin',$newskin,time()+(86400*365),'/','.iamsparticus.co.uk');
$skin=$newskin;
?>
<?php
print "$skin";
print "$HTTP_USER_AGENT";
?>
I know you don't know what it does, but I wrote it all myself, aren't you impressed?
Cherrytastic!
I got a cherry lollypop yesterday after swimming!
YAY FOR CHERRY FLAVOUR!
My life is now complete.
Also going to a friend Kat's 70's theme party tonight… soooo can't wait!
YAY FOR THE 70s!
A little later in the day... Ha ha, found this crazy images while researching for images to use for next college project - ads for Virgin Atlantic!
Also this one… always look on the bright side!
Oh, and Sparky you'll agree with this one!
Me thinks that I shall
Me thinks that I shall not get a chance to blog while the morrow, so I will blog now instead. Now being whilst I'm on a train on the way to see Tom Mcrae.
So i just went to the loo on the train (not a good idea) and when i came out the ticket inspector had gone past. Now this had not been my plan, to avoid paying my train fair, but when I sat down this woman gave me an absolutely stinking look.
Oh in other news if anyone wants a something corporate badge, or a darkness badge, let me know and i'll stick you one in the post. On the condition i sign you up for their mailing lists. Also suggestions on what to buy my mummy for her forth coming birthday would be good, although don't write it here as my mum reads this. Hi mum!waves
40 days and 40 fights
That's how long it feels like since I last wrote… but I won't go on about that again.
My week has been pretty un-eventful, hence the shortage of blogs on my part. On Thursday evening I developed a horrible cold, which knocked me out for most of the weekend - grr, most inconvenient really! Despite the headaches and sniffles, I went to see Edinburgh's Revelation Rock-Gospel Choir on Friday. They were pretty good, but in all honesty I think previous years have been better! (Rachel - you must go back!!) Then Saturday was spent in bed… mmmm, comfy warm bed with fluffy cute kitty! I was loving it! It paid off too, coz by Sunday morning the cold was all gone, just in time to get up bright and early to teach 5 truly angelic 5-7yr olds! What joy! That afternoon though, I met up with Kat and went to see 'Maid In Manhattan' hmmm… not really the kind of movie I would usually go see, but I didn't fall asleep so it can't have been all that bad! Others may disagree with me though! Ha ha.
Monday was a great day though, learning Flash at college and animating this most hilarious haiku which goes:
A happy poodle,
The kite also wags its tail,
At the sunny beach.
Poodles make me laugh so much… tee hee! :D
So then in the afternoon I went swimming with Lois (we did a whopping 20 laps=500m). These swimming sessions are becoming a habit… a good one I must add! But the only reason we go swimming, and the only thing that motivates us to swim for a whole hour is our reward of a lollypop at the end! This week I've had all raspberry ones, but tomorrow I hope to get a yummy cherry one! Oohhh, the thought alone makes me so excited!
Anyway, then it was Navs, in which I won a beautiful tea-light-holder-third-prize for learning my memory verses! Wehey!
So then on Tuesday I developed a sty on my bottom eye-lid. Most beautifying! Which has gradually got bigger, but on the inside, not the outside so it doesn't actually look THAT bad, thank goodness!
Wednesday Lois and I went swimming and swam a record 40 laps this time… that’s a whole kilometer! yay! Well impressed - except I still got a raspberry lollypop and she got a cherry one… its not fare mummy!
And that brings us to today, and me sitting all lonely at the computer with my only friend Mr Badly Drawn Boy, (oh, and the cat) took keep me company. While Sparky goes gallivanting along to that Turin Brakes gig where he's right at the front again, blocking the view for poor 6ft and under people!
HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!
Missing meetings
I managed to miss a meeting yesterday.
This may not seem astounding to you, and I don't blame you, because people miss meetings all the time, nothing new there.
Well this meeting was in my house. Not only that but I heard people arrive for the meeting, saw people arrive for the meeting and indeed saw the meeting in progress. Yet I still missed it.
Why?
well basically it's because as a vicarage we have 6,000,000 meetings here ever week, of which I'm meant to go to about 5,500,000 of. So when I meeting that I have no knowledge of (and it's very hard for this to happen seeing as a) I live in the vicarage and b) have long meetings every week determing when all the other meetings occur) occurs, for no apparent reason, I do what I do best, and ignore it completely.
So when the vicar today turns round to me and says "so why didn't you come to the meeting last night?" I was not best pleased. Apparently everyone was reminded of the meeting but me, because as I have meetings about meetings, I don't need to be reminded.
Ah well, it meant I got to watch Eastenders
Shark!!!!
three things of note today.
1)Who would have thought that references to EMINEM would appear on a Christian fundamentalist website? Not me, that's for one.
2) Currently I'm watching that cutting edge program on channel 4 "boys alone". The premise is 10 11 year olds running a house for a week (don't worry their parents are next door at all times) and needless to say they've made a mess. However some one had the bright idea of painting the walls, painting the walls with PAINT! I don't know quite why that's so funny, but it is.
3) Three will have to wait as heleno just called. :)
Yaaaaahhhhooooo!
THE COOPERS ARE TOURING!! THE COOPERS ARE TOURING!! Runs around in circles doing a happy dance!!!
AND it's a date I can go to!! THE COOPERS ARE TOURING!!!!!! WOOHOOO
That's like the bestest news I've got all week!!!
ooh and happy St. David's day everyone!
a short time later through the wonders of modern technology...
woohoo! I got turin brakes and tom mcrae tickets too!
About, Navigation, And Other Details
This is a website by Mark Walley. If you want to find out more or get in touch, that'd be nice.
Getting around this website can be a tad confusing. If you're looking to explore the better stuff of what I've written then this navigation should help you. If you're after a specific post then searching or looking through the archives chronologically may help.
Things I Found Interesting
- New Free Coldplay Single With extensive rigmarole to actually download what is just a plain mp3 file.
- Want to know what's going to appear in youth work magazine for the next year? In releasing info for advertisers, they've released info for all of us. If you're intrigued by the articles in a Christian youth work magazine that might be good for advertising too, this is a must read.
- Johnny Foreigner are on iTunes AWESOME. Fact.
- I'm on Wikipedia!
- Ipswich Town on the Wikipedia main page for ONE DAY ONLY By proxy.
People I Generally Find Interesting
- Alasdair
- Chris Walley
- David
- Defective Yeti
- Doug
- Hayley Cornwell
- John Gruber
- Mark Meynell
- Matthew
- Paulo
- Phil Brown
- Sarah Wiseman
- Scott
- Team Armstrong
- Technorati Profile
Last Words
This site tries its best to be accessible for everyone. Atom, and RSS feeds are available. All content licensed through a creative commons licence. I may have stolen ideas off you when you weren't looking, but it was almost certainly an accident. As with all claims of originality and ownership Psalm 24 v1 applies.