i am sparticus: Words

Make Makeover Shows Do Proper Work

For every hour that home makeover shows film for, an equal amount of time shall be spent on community work. The community work shall involve redecorating council flats, old people's homes and hospital wards, be funded for by the producers and backers of the makeover shows and all the hard work should be done by those designers.
Laurence Llewleyn Dandy-Fopp's mistakes though, are far too severe to be redeemed by this plan. He will still be going to the moon colony.

Giles Woodcraft

Giles Woodcraft isn't on Google. How can someone exist and not be on Google? Shocking!
That's right, Giles Woodcraft

A Multitude Of Ways To Abuse The Plot Of Matrix Revolutions To Turn It Into A Christian Allegory

All over the country right now, people are watching the Matrix Revolutions, and all over the country, people in trendy Christian leadership are thinking of ways of twisting the themes in the movie into sermons, small groups and bible studies. For the record, I think that while you can draw out Christian analogies from pretty much anything, it's quite hard to draw out good ones. Secondly I think that just because a film isn't a Christian allegory, that doesn't make it a bad film. Thirdly I think that to draw deep profound meanings out of something that the creators are confused about, is stupid.
With that all said and done though...

How To Abuse The Plot Of Matrix Revolutions To Turn It Into A Christian Allegory

1.  Everyone thought that Jesus would be the saviour of the Jews, force all the other races/religions ( the gentiles) into submission and make the nation of Israel even better. However he confused them all by being the saviour of the Jews and the gentiles. He showed them that everyone who believed in him would live forever in heaven.
    Everyone thought that Neo was going to be the saviour of the Humans, force all the races/religions into submission and make humanity even better. However he confused them all by being the saviour of the humans and the machines. He showed that they could live happily together as long as the humans didn't mind their babies being used as batteries.

2.  The Jewish people thought that it was the foreign nations who were their enemies, however it turned out that God was behind those nations, and that what they really should be concerned with how they behaved toward God and toward each other.
    The Humans thought that it was the machines who were their enemies, however it turned out that that the some dude with white hair in a room with lots of tvs was behind the machines and what they really should be concerned about was Hugo Weaving. Well, him and all those machines that wanted the humans turned into batteries. And all the crazy humans who wanted to go back into the matrix. And all the crazy humans possessed by Hugo Weaving.

3.  Satan thought that by killing Jesus he would win his war against God. However by killing Jesus he put the final nail in his own coffin. What no one could understand, but God, was that Jesus knew what he was doing all along.
    Agent Smith thought that by killing Neo he would win his war against ummm... whatever it was that he was so mad about. However by killing Neo he exploded in shiny special effects. What no one else could understand, even the directors, was exactly what Neo was doing all along.

And so forth.
Thanks to Paulo for reminding me with his posting about this red fire hydrant post. Blog link tastic

Soup? Casserole Recipes?

Things I've noticed this week,

• People in Holyoaks (not that I watch Holyoaks, but it was on in the background whilst I was cooking) quoted bits of the Bible twice in everyday conversations in the space of five minutes
• This still makes me laugh
• Getting into the audience for Trisha seems easy

Harlot Computers

I'm sure my computer knows I've been cheating on it. I turn it on this morning and it's all like sullen. Any second now a windows error message is going to pop up and say "warning: you were playing with that console all day yesterday weren't you?" and I'll have to click yes. It'll know I'm lying.
As it is it decided to remove all the network connections on my computer (it says it's because my bluetooth device over-rode them all, but I know it's lying) and then prevent me from rebooting properly.

If we didn't have such a history, and we weren't so tied together for financial reasons, I'd so dump it for a younger model. Possibley even a mac.
YOU HEAR ME! A MAC!

Update

We've had words. I've been short-sighted, it's not just the Gamecube, but the phone. Spending all day playing Zelda, then only using my computer to benefit my phone just wasn't nice of me. I've agreed to uninstall all the phone software, and it's agreed to get all the networks sorted out. Needless to say with all that rubbish out of the way my phone and my computer are talking properly now. They've even shared contact information and calenders. Bless.

Ooops you broke it

Yeah, so today, the website was going to recognise my birthday and switch skins to a happy birthday one accordingly. Of course I hadn't designed a happy birthday one.
Still, it's irrelevant now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!

I only ask questions

Now Suffolk is an area that is predominately white. According to the 2001 census, Ethnic Minorities (is that phrase still politically correct these days?) make up less than 2.8% of the population. According to the same census, there are 1,664 more 15-24 year old males than there are females. With those facts stored in your memory, ask yourself this question. Why does the Suffolk Connexions Website have no pictures of any white males on it?

I've become so numb

So here's the dilemma, Wednesday is my birthday (repeat Wednesday is my birthday). However Wednesday is a very busy day full of work and essay deadlines, so I'm taking Thursday off instead. Now the dilemma lies here. Should I...
A) Stay home, play my new game cube.
B) Go to London, point and laugh (and protest) at George Bush.

The problem is, both events are entirely meaningless in the grand scale of things.

Update

Due to amazon being funny, the link above didn't work. It does now. Yay.

Wash my sins away

mmmm Godly Soap (via paulo)

And the song in that tetra pak advert is the William Orbit remix of "dice" by Finley Quaye. Just so you know.

Pesky Coopers

I'm annoyed, the coopers have moved their Norwich date to a venue even further away from the train station. Now if I wanted to go, after the gig would see me running 3 miles back to the train station in 10 minutes. Or rather it wouldn't. So instead I'm going to stay home like a good boy and finish off my essays which are due in the next day. Grrr.

I like this font. So retro 50's like. I just designed a flyer for this new cafe we're running with this font. Mmmmm. I like my Job.

Duh-Duh-Duh-DUHHHHH

After careful checking of who has and hasn't heard, I can now annouce...

My Brother is Getting Married!

Woohoooooo.
I'm going to be a brother in law, and my brother's going to be a husband, and his fiancee is going to be a wife. Etc... It's all quite exciting!

Summer Dies, Autumn Arrives

It's finally Autumn here. Some things might break a bit over the weekend, but I'm sure it'll all be resolved. Expect more regular stuff soon.

oh and someone recommend a church in Portsmouth.

Let there be bright

I moved into My new room yesterday, it's excellent, if a bit tiny. The only problem is it's a not very nice very light yellow colour (somewhere about this sort of color), and it has a very high ceiling so all the walls look very barren and sparse right now. So I need suggestions of things to do to make my room look brighter. I'm probably going to put some shelves in, so I can stick my books and stuff on that long wall and break it up a bit, and maybe a pinboard, but it'll still look very white.
So I need suggestions of ways to make it look brighter and less emptier. Suggestions that don't involve irreversable things done to the room (screws are the limit really). And while posters are good, too many scare me.

Matrix Revolutions

Saw the Matrix Revolutions last night. I don't want to spoil the plot, but it just a bit disappointing. Go see it, but don't expect to come away feeling satisfied.

Bluejacking

Bluejacking seems like is something fun to do today

Alchohol Based Knock Out Gas

After experiencing a train full of drunks last Saturday night, I had an idea. What the police need is a weapon that can instantly take out anyone who is intoxicated. Now as anyone who is intoxicated has vast amounts of alchohol in their blood system, all you need to do is create a gas that someone reacts to the alchohol to form some high powered knockout effect. With this new wonder gas, the possibilities are endless. On a Friday night, when fights break out, all they have to do is gas the entire area, and watch as the drunks collapse in a pile on the floor. They can then all be rounded up easily. It could also be used to test for drink drivers. Create a stretch of road with a sharp bend and gas the area before the bend. All the drunks will lose conscienceness, and fly off the bend into some big net device, whereas normal people will proceed safely round the bend.