i am sparticus: Alasdair Asks About Ecumenical Matter

Alasdair Asks About Ecumenical Matter

Alasdair Asks:

"What exactly is, an 'ecumenical matter?' "

First, I'd like to apologise for Alasdair's poor grammar. He's been finishing off his dissertation lately and understandably his mind has been on other things. So, with grammar corrected...

"What exactly is 'ecumenical matter'?"

Well, as you probably all know from basic science classes, there are three commonly known phases of matter; Solid, Liquid and Gas. On top of this, there are three other lesser known phases of matter; plasmas, Bose-Einstein condensates and fermionic condensates (the last two have only been created in laboratory settings). There are possibly two other semi-phases, the paramagnetic and ferromagnetic phases of magnetic materials. I say 'possibly two other semi-phases' because I haven't a clue if they are real phases or not, so lets just ignore them and pretend they don't exist.

Phases of matter are defined by their chemical composition and physical properties. So liquids all share roughly the same physical and chemical properties; they all have an unchanging volume but a changing shape. Plasma's likewise all share the same properties; they all have a changing volume, a changing shape and they are all ionized.

Ecumenical Matter is a hypothetical state of matter, theoretically it should exist, however it's yet to be proved. The fundamental properties are this:

• It is cohesive for large amounts of time, before splitting up into thousands of seperate parts (known as denominationatory parts). These parts are known to combust or rejoin seemingly at random later on.
• It has no fixed form, and continually changes shape and size.
• It is strangely attracted to quiche and pasta salad.

Ecumenical matter is frequently derided by more right wing scientists, who claim it to be entirely fictional and that by even thinking of it true phases of matter are being watered down. Liberal scientists frequently talk about it as the holy grail, and claim that ecumenical matter might be super matter, that includes all other sorts of matter as well.

Anyway, I hope that has helped clear matters up somewhat. If you have any further queries I suggest you contact somewhere cleverer than me. As always, new poll on monday.

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