The problem with new year resolutions is that they aren't made with any fore-thought. Come new year's eve people inevitably think 'oh, this year I should really be doing something resolution like' or more precisely they think 'I drink too much / eat too much / smoke / Fancy that girl from admin, I should really do something about it. I know! I'll make a resolution, that way it'll seem like I'm doing something about it even though I'm not really.' This is inevitably followed by drinking too much at the office new years party, asking out girl from admin, being rejected and drowning sorrows in drink, food and cigarettes.
This could all be avoided though if people simply planned their resolutions before New Year's Eve. And so with this is in mind, here is my list of resolutions as they currently stand.
(8) Armistice - Easyworld
I'm trying to think how I can word my approval of your resolution without approving of you lowering the whole level of conversation on this site.
Its ok, i think i the only person who visits anymore.
It's like the Mark and Seb show! Except without much Seb. Still.
Im sure that was the infamous Seb and Mike Show before the incident... Poor Mike, they never did find his head.
I fancy a girl from admin, but there isn't a christmaas party here. WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE ME? Come on sparticos the greek, your website is confused me!
"Hey girl from admin, isn't it a shame that we have no Christmas party here?"
"ummm yeah... I guess so?"
"You know, we could organise a party"
"I'm not sure that's such a great idea"
"we could bring along the drinks and play party games"
"Look, I'm really not interested"
"It could be a party for just the two of us..."
"Go away creep. And stop staring at me every time I walk past your desk"
"Damn"
Proceed with drowning sorrows in drink, food and cigarettes.
She Doesn't walk past.
She floats, scattering rose petals.
Word.
Fine:
"...And stop staring at me every time I float past, scattering rose petals"
"Sorry, but walking by scattering rose petals does draw the eye some what"
Feel free to use my never fail tactic
"Hi, whats your name ?"
(tells you name)
"Wanna go for a walk ?"
(excuse / yes)
Ive tried it once and it failed....but its different from your normal chat up line and proves your fitter than most since you enjoy walking.
I am firmly under the immovable illusion that I am proper fit, and irrestable to females. And the only thing that makes me still single is that all women are dazzled by me.
Heres a good tip not to do, as discussed with mark earlier today:
Me to pretty lady: Hey, want to do kissing?
Result: failure to do kissing.
Doesn't work, don't do it
Hopefully you won't have to add "send Ben his phone" onto your new years resolutions, as I still hold out hope that you will send it to me this year...
What about adding:
Don't send Ben MARK'S phone because he seems mightily whiny and ungrateful. Instead sell the phone on Ebay and give the proceeds to charity.
To your list.
Eh?
(the above has nothing to do with me having wanted the phone too, but I've got a new one now so i don't want MARK'S one any more)
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Mr.Moony
Mine is masturbate less.