i am sparticus: Words

Kerry "Diet Exclusive"

Thursday The 24th

• I can't believe I only just found this out, but New Look now do guys clothes! So the range so far is pretty pitiful and all very Burton / Topman -esque but I'm sure it'll expand and develop into something more excellent soon.
• Did you know that Jesus died at 3pm on either Friday 7th April 30AD or Friday 3rd of April 33AD? Fascinating fact of the day!
• I'm in France next week, nobody try anything funny while I'm away.
• Someone tape the next two episodes of Dr. Who for me. You'll be rewarded with something suitable.

Electrical Speed Bumps

I had the best idea ever yesterday. Speed bumps are bad, damage cars and don't really work. What is needed is a replacement device that does work and doesn't damage cars. Introducing, "The ElectroMagnetic Field Car Slower Thingy Device" (EMFCST). The EMFCST is based upon the principle of magnetic things moving through another magnetic thing produces an electical current. It works by place big magnetics underneath roads with a very precise magnetic attraction. If cars go to fast over these magnetics KASSAP! Electric Shocks-A-Go-Go! If you drive slowly though this won't happen. The EMFCST has the added benefit of working better on cars that are lower to the ground and have large magnets inside them. (Think that through people, what cars are ground-huggingly low, have big magnets in and drive very fast? JACKPOT!)

I fully understand that the EMFCST probably fails on the basic grounds of rubbish science, but that never stopped the bumble bee did it?

We Will Not Retreat

This week I've been mostly listening to the Fightstar EP, a band called Mewithoutyou and the latest Idlewild album. However in between all this I've been enjoying the delights of Prokofiev's Lieutenant Kije, particularly the fourth movement - the sleigh-ride one. I particularly like the way the violins seem to keep the rhythm (obviously they don't, the conductor does but it's still clever) and the way the key melody keeps on repeating in interesting ways.

With the Fightstar EP (They Liked You Better When You Were Dead) don't believe the hype. It isn't either absolutely fantastic or absolutely appalling. It has its moments and they definately have potential but it's still a first EP and suffers from most things regular non-former popstar first EP's do. It reminds a bit of early Feeder, Hell Is For Heroes and a bunch of other non-descript emo acts, (very) occasionally they remind me of Biffy and Radiohead but moments like that are few and far between. If you want to listen 'Amethyst' is probably my favourite song right now, though 'Lost Like Tears In The Rain' is almost as good and 'Mono' is in turn almost as decent as that.

Mewithoutyou and Idlewild just rock. Buy stuff of both. (Speaking of which 65daysofstatic are playing in Norwich the day before Idlewild. There are no problems, only opportunities.)

Microwave Hackery

We're doomed!
Sure sign of the oncoming apocalypse number 58; someone sees the need for an internet microwave. That said, the hackery possibilities for this thing must be awesome. If someone does manage to hack into one of these things then they can expect a mighty great official iamsparticus.com medal in recognition of their efforts.

Insurance With The BMC

I quote:

Section 11 Hijacking – up to £1,000
What is covered
You will receive £50 for each period of 24 hours during which you are unable to reach your destination or get home because of hijacking. As well as the general conditions on pages 7 and 8, the following exclusions and conditions apply.

Awesome! Get hijacked and the BMC (British Mountaineering Council) will give you £50 (around $85) quid for each day you spend hijacked! As long as you don't get hijacked for longer than 20 days then you're raking it in!

In My Opinion

My one piece of advice for everyone who writes on their websites: Stop saying 'In my opinion' or 'I think' or any other statement that indicates that what you are about to say is your own personal belief. What are you trying to say, that the rest of what you just said is not your own personal belief? That even though the sidebar says 'the personal website / blog of Steve from Peterborough' we still need to be told that this bit right here is your opinion? Obviously it's your opinion, it's your website! Stop apologising (because that's what it is really) and start telling me something exciting.

Christian Links

There's been a whole shedload of good Christian articles on the interweb lately, so for your edification here are four.

• Jesus Talks To a Gay Man.
• Eugene Peterson Talks To Christianity Today.
• The Internet Monk Speaks on Singleness and Marriage.
• Christ and Culture.

Tuesday The 8th

• New Idlewild Album! It's good as long as you don't expect it to be anything like Hope Is Important. Certainly 'Goodnight' is one of the finest album closers in recent memory.
• Free ticket to the match on Saturday!
  
  Obviously knowing so much about football I predict a three - one win to Ipswich.
• Boss: "Maybe it's a sensible idea as we seem to be struggling for a date for the meal."
  Me: "I know I'm struggling for a date for the meal!"
  All: ???
  I have no idea why my sense of humour isn't appreciated in the office as much as it is.
• Ted, the whole text about the make out scene? WRONG ED. Let's just forget about it eh?

Pub Ideas

I had a great idea in the pub t'other day. Remove the middle urinals from all guys' toilets!

(photo from photostream of Dave Morris)

No-one ever uses the middle urinals even when there is a queue for the loo, so removing them would save you approximately a lot of money. Ideas in the pub: Always worth telling other people later on.

USA - USB

The USB cable for my camera has little letters on either ends. One large flat rectangular end says 'a' on it and the other short squat trapezoid end says 'b'. If you can't work out which end of the cable to plug into the camera and which end to plug into the computer without tiny letters pointing the way STEP AWAY FROM THE EXPENSIVE TECHNOLOGICAL EQUIPMENT.

St David's Day

Happy St David's Day everyone! For those who don't know who St David's is and why it's happy that it's his day READ ON!
St. David is the patron saint of Wales, in the words of Wikipedia "David contrasts with such other national patron saints as England's Saint George, in that relatively much is known about his life" Or as I'd translate it "David contrasts with such other national patron saints as England's Saint George, in that he actually did stuff with his life and wasn't just made up to impress the French ladies". He setup a bunch of monasteries, denounced Pelagianism and when he preached to a load of people and some couldn't hear him properly he made the ground he stood on rise up. Possibly. That or he asked them all to move over to a hill so he could shout down at them. Frankly I think the latter is more impressive as it shows common sense and an ability to get Welsh people to move. Kudos to St David!