Predictions For Next Year

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Enough of 2005, I'm bored of this year already. Exciting predictions for 2006 follow!

January. Is spent reliving 2005's mistakes. THROUGH THE MEDIUM OF RE-LIVE-O-VISION.
February. Starting what will eventually become the mid-February tradition of Hyrdoenflationsofamass a man accidentally sets fire to himself while floating down a river on a three piece suite. Best not to ask.
March. Fails to happen. Sorry.
April. Summer comes early! Everyone walks around in coats and scarves saying "brrr isn't it cold" so as not to let on the mistake.
May. The classic "May The Fourth Be With You" joke is made. Consequentially 10,000 people die. May is renamed "yousethe" to prevent this from ever happening again.
June. The rapture happens, only this rapture takes place on the basis of works not grace and so everyone's left behind. Coincidentally Bangor gets sucked into a miniature black hole overnight. This still puzzles theologians in a hundred years time, though mostly because it took them that long to notice.
July. Was named for Julius Caesar. Born in 13 July 100 BC Julius Caesar was key in transforming Rome from a republic to an empire. Caesar was born in Rome into a well-known patrician famil... Oh wait. This is meant to be a prediction of the coming month isn't it? Yeah nothing really happens in July.
August. Everything Shrek 3 flops at the box-office including the 100ft tall Shrek Model outside the premiere. When the debris is cleared all that can be found is Cameron Diaz's heart, which has been so compressed that it's turned into pure diamond.
November. Does a job swap with September
October. Bring your shorts! This month's gonna be hot! In South Australia. Where you live it'll just rain as per usual.
September. Reneges on it's promise to November. Consequentially November has to find an extra 30 days to fill somewhere. It out sources them to China and by Guy Fawkes we're all back on track. Some people say they can tell the difference with the new days, but they're the same sort of people who don't give the paper boys who deliver their Daily Mail to them Christmas tips, so everyone ignores them.
December. World ends. etc...

Right Now

musical note Glósól - Sigur Rós

There are 12 expressions of opinion about what was written.
Mark wrote this at 17:59, Thu, 29/12/05, Link
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Your Comments

Sheepie

Double comments I've seen but this is new. (For me at least.)

Written by Sheepie at 20:09, Thu, 29/12/05

Sparticus

Good point.

DELETED

Written by Sparticus at 20:16, Thu, 29/12/05

Kerron

Mark accidentally posts the same story twice and no-one notices?

Will that happen?

Written by Kerron at 23:18, Thu, 29/12/05

Sparticus

I've researched this fairly heavily now and I'm fairly sure she doesn't guarantee you a pub. Sorry.

BULLETPOINT injoke.

Written by Sparticus at 00:23, Fri, 30/12/05

Sparticus

Error, wrong post! Oh how foolish am I? very...

But I'll leave it in.

Written by Sparticus at 00:24, Fri, 30/12/05

Kerron

New Year's resolution: Less Website errors (especially in December)? ;-)

Mine should be to talk less about myself.

Oh no, there I go again. ;-)

Written by Kerron at 11:16, Fri, 30/12/05

I'm not pleased with the quote;

"Yeah nothing really happens in July."

what about your best friend's (me) birthday??!!

You're on thin ice Walley!!!

Written by Anonymous at 13:03, Fri, 30/12/05

Margaret

I'm looking for a boyfriend.

He must be a local councillor from Croxley Green.

Did I mention, he needs to be between the ages of 28 and 29.

If he were on the National Executive body of the Christian Socialist Movement, it would also be good, yes.

I would also like him to be male.

Written by Margaret at 18:37, Fri, 30/12/05

Kerron

Damn, some people are too choosy. ;-)

Written by Kerron at 19:05, Fri, 30/12/05

Kerron

Actually, was that Margaret Thatcher again? I have already told her no, more than once.

:-)

Written by Kerron at 19:06, Fri, 30/12/05

Gareth

You need help Kerron

Written by Gareth at 09:51, Sat, 31/12/05

Kerron

:-(

Written by Kerron at 17:32, Sat, 31/12/05

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