Left Behind: Eternal Forces
So they're making a Left Behind game and Fred Clark has beaten everyone to the first witty response about the game. There's plenty to go around though, so here's my list of theological ludicrousities I've found on the games website:
- Conduct physical & spiritual warfare: using the power of prayer to strengthen your troops in combat and wield modern military weaponry throughout the game world. I've always dreamed of the possibility of getting the "the power of prayer" and "modern military weaponry" on the same side joined together like some awesome transformer-zoid type thing. Finally someone's worked out the logistics of it!
- Recover ancient scriptures and witness spectacular Angelic and Demonic activity as a direct consequence of your choices. Including, but not limited to, the gospel of Wheatus, the happy-joy-luck apocrypha, A. A. Milne's complete guide to the fourth trumpet and Tim LaHaye's early mid-tribulation premillenialist book notes.
- Control more than 30 units types - from Prayer Warrior and Hellraiser to Spies, Special Forces and Battle Tanks! See point 1, but with more sarcasm.
- Enjoy a robust single player experience across dozens of New York City maps in Story Mode – fighting in China Town , SoHo , Uptown and more! Or as I'd quote it in an essay; Enjoy a robust single player experience... fighting [and killing the heathen].
- "Why does this game have to contain violence at all? Why is it necessary for a fun and successful game?" Violence is not required to make a fun game. However, it is required to make a game about the end of the world in the Left Behind book series. ...unnecessary killing will result in lower Spirit points which are essential to winning. Any game based around the Christian life that has winning based upon the amounts of points you accumulate seems a tad horribly horribly perverted. (already posted as a comment elsewhere)
- The trailer to the game is absolutely awesome. I like the voiceover that goes "Throughout history, men and women have chosen one of three paths..." while important images from mans' history play out behind a floaty timeline with some memorable dates on it. What's so great is that the dates are 1350, 1492, 1621, 1776, 1830, 1861, 1945 and 1963. I've no idea what's special about the first date but the rest are Columbus finding America, the first Thanksgiving in America, the signing of the American Declaration of Independence, the American signing of the Indian Removal Act, the beginning of the American Civil War, America wins World War II and American Martin Luther King gives his "I Have a Dream Speech". When you read the bible and it says "the Kingdom of Heaven", "the Kingdom of God", "the Church" and "the saved", read "America".
- "How closely does LEFT BEHIND: Eternal Forces follow the Book of Revelation?" The LEFT BEHIND book series is fictional. We have developed our game in a manner consistent with the fictional characters and events of this tremendous popular fictional book series. I like that though they are the ones writing the questions and can make them say whatever they want, they still manage to ask a question they have to dodge. It tells you enough about the game's Biblical accuracy though.
- "Are guns used by Christians against non-Christians? Why or why not?" The storyline in the game begins just after the Rapture has occurred – when all adult Christians, all infants, and many children were instantly swept home to Heaven and off the Earth by God. The remaining population – those who were left behind – are then poised to make a decision at some point. They cannot remain neutral. Their choice is to either join the AntiChrist – which is an imposturous one world government seeking peace for all of mankind, or they may join the Tribulation Force – which seeks to expose the truth and defend themselves against the forces of the AntiChrist." Again the dodging of a question that they themselves have set is fantastic. Also, what does "imposturous" mean? In the context I can only believe it means really really nice, as who else is going to be seeking peace for all mankind?
- "Does the violence depicted in the game run contrary to Jesus’ message on “love your enemy”?" Absolutely not. Christians are quite clearly taught to turn the other cheek and to love their enemies. It is equally true that no one should forfeit their lives to an aggressor who is bent on inflicting death." Let me make this clear, the answer to the question “Does the violence depicted in the game run contrary to Jesus’ message on “love your enemy”?” is "No, killing those who aren't Christian is not contrary to Jesus' teachings". Going so far as to forfeit your life to an aggressor who is bent on inflicting death is simply crazy and something no-one should ever do. So much for Stephen dying without fighting back and forgiving his enemies and so much for pretty much every Christian martyr ever. You should have fought back you fools! You should have commanded a thousand angels to come down and rescue you. And as for the Son of God giving Himself up to die on a cross, what kind of crazy person was he? Did he not know he could have destroyed them all? What was he attempting to do dying like that?
the real Phil Brown
ha! well done...
I'm glad ol' Milne got a mention.