After getting 2006 so stunningly right I thought I'd repeat the process for 2007. Bring on the FUTURE!
Sees the announcing of the third series of trilogies set in the Star Wars universe. There is much disappointment though when someone points out that it's not really a third trilogy, just the Godfather with lightsabers CGI'd in. Lucasarts defends itself by pointing out that the Godfather is set in the same Universe and after Star Wars so technically it's accurate. Also, it's the Godfather with lightsabers, I mean. The Godfather. With Lightsabers.
Ends in tears after the 29th gets wasted and fails to show up for the third year running.
The stock market crashes. Into it's living room wall. While playing table football on the Wii. No-one is hurt apart from some minor grazing around the FTSE, but hacks are quick to use the following words in the headlines for the next week: STOCK, CRASH, WII, FOOT, FTSE, FOOTSIE, INAPPROPRIATE CONDUCT, ECOLOGICAL DISASTER, KILLER, NEW DIANA DEATH THEORY.
With the release of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie April once again becomes a popular girls name confusing people no end. "Where's April?" "Right after March!" "What's happening in April?" "Oh you know, the normal digestion process, probably some hormonal things too". I say confusing people no end, I probably mean really annoying people no end.
Sees the reaching of the entire year's quota for carousing. For the next seven months people have to dance while sober.
The sea rises up, ice caps melt and destroy, things go badly. Is announced as the winning Poem in the National Haiku competition.
Sees Martians invade, well, I say invade, I mean they're quite friendly really and spend lots of their money in local restaurants and make some effort to learn please and thank you in English. They leave two weeks later with four full memory cards, a bunch of tatty souvenirs and 500 human slaves.
Paris is invaded and conquered again. No-one owns up to it.
Is a peaceful month compared to the last couple. No-one gets invaded, kidnapped or enslaved. Well, apart from the regular kidnappings, enslavements and violence that happen every month and people ignore. It's amazing what human beings can ignore when they want to.
Sees the launch of a one-off, unique Robotron 5000xcpt, the must have kids toy. Unfortunately it's launched into space where while it becomes a crime-fighting-justice-delivering saviour of many, it doesn't get to play with little Jimmy and spends the rest of its existence feeling slightly depressed.
Christmas comes early.
World ends etc...
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