i am sparticus: Words

eCut

Also,

You know how people go "oh, I knew I needed a haircut for a bit, but I didn't realise it till I had no time whatsoever to go get one done"?.

Yeah.

eBought

You know how people go "oh well I went on Ebay to look to see how much something was there and before I know it I'd bought a Canon Eos 350D"?.

Yeah.

Youth Work Vs Ministry

Neither:

Don't tell your kids they're smart. Apparently if you do you give children the idea that it's because they're intelligent that they do well and so they go 'ooh I'm so smart, I don't need to put effort in' and then they don't. Tell them they put good effort into something and they go 'ooh, if I put more effort in I'll do better' and consequentially they do. The article is worth reading in full.

Ministry:

What youth pastors tell me in secret (not me you understand, but the guy who wrote this article). Youth pastors confess where they struggle with their pastors.

Foundations for a theology of Youth Ministry by Chap Clark. Alas, he's wrong. Bonus points if you can spot the large gapping hole in his five points. (Sometimes I wonder that if people espouse a theology that lacks the cross they should be ignored. Sometimes though I think we should yell 'WRONG!' really loudly when they come out with it. Maybe neither are particularly loving.)

Youth Work:

According to a survey done in conjunction with the BBC a third of children with ASBO's also have some sort of brain disorder.

If you're doing a programme that gets young people involved in volunteering and that costs in the region of £150,000 - £500,000 you're in luck! The 'not-millenium-volunteers-anymore' charity v have just given grants away in the region of £100,000 - £300,000 for such programs and they're doing so again around May - June.

Your Young People are stealing dogs (well, maybe not your young people, but certainly someone's, somewhere, well, maybe only certainly if you believe the Daily Mail).

Northamptonshire County Council commissioned out it's youth work last year and dropped it's directly run stuff. Much furore ensues but it seems to be going well. Interestingly the council is FIND OUT WHICH ONE.

Youth Work In Schools. From Young People Now. Interesting on multiple levels, but the one I'm most intrigued by is the cryptic reference towards then about about hard-core youth workers not thinking it's real youth work. I think the clue is in the bit that reads "helping them make the best of a formal institution, while we remain voluntary and informal". Someone seems to be saying that it's not real youth work because it's based in a school and formal. Interesting.

Eight year olds are abusing drink. At least, they are in Northern Ireland anyway (insert your own joke).

And other random news:

You probably already heard it everywhere else but here it is anyway we're terrible at looking after children

Foreign Youth Work News of The Week Helsinki to close several youth clubs. What will those Icelandians do now?

And finally, this weeks abuse of young people; rat out your friends for money

Holiday

Uh, so anyone looking to go on holiday from the 10th-15th of March? Because I am. And I have no ideas. Suggestions and possible offers of accompaniment welcome.

Tattoo

It's a lot neater when I'm not tensing my arm

A Modern Way

I have a theory that, one day, people will be having the following conversation.

"You know back when it was first introduced as a popular drink Lemsip was primarily used for it's medicinal effects?"
"No way."
"I read it on wikipedia."

I Want To Talk

Walking up Regent's Street earlier on Saturday and I spied a man walking towards me with a sandwich board that read "I Want To Talk About Penises"¹. I ignored him, as did every one else on the street apart from the two camera people and one photographer who followed him down the street with grins on their faces.

Do people really think that anyone's actually going to care about stunts like this any more? The idea that someone might go "wo-ah a crazy man walking down the street, I should stop and gawp" is a bit out of date. If John McClane was put onto the streets of Harlem today with his sandwich board that reads "I Hate N****rs²" then the only reason people would pass comment would be to ask whether it was a stunt for a reality TV show or viral-advertising.

¹ Goodbye Google search engine listings!

² I'm not sure I can get away with that word.

Back In The Day: Steve

I'll leave my eighteen year old self to introduce today's past entry.

I just came back from a Christiany event thingy, well actually I just came back from an after event celebratory McDonalds. It was soo much fun. Like brilliant. The event that is McDonalds was evil coz they chucked us all out. How rude.

I'm a youth worker, I know lots of eighteen year olds, it's part of my job, very few of them would have posted the above on their website though. Of those who would have a website and would write about such things, I imagine all of them wouldn't use the phrase 'like brilliant' as a standalone sentence. But if all I did was slag off my grammar and spelling, well I'd have material to last years but it'd get dull fast. So, with some difficulty, ignoring the poor language skills, the more important things.

Now if you're not a churchy/christiany person then worships like doing anything that glorifies God, but it's also used as a word to describe singing songs and stuff.

Gosh, look at me the amateur linguist and theologian that I am/was¹. I not only display a grasp of the semantic range of words but I also show a passable understanding of the first few points of the Westminster Catechism. But, that's probably a worrying sentence showing how I've changed. Sad to say I'm not sure I would write something like that these days, not that I don't believe it, because I do, nor because I feel ashamed to talk about God and worship, but I'm not so sure I'd write stuff so simply. I'd disguise it in bigger words and make it more intellectual and so prove that I was clever in other men's eyes and not possessing some simple faith so plain it's near foolishness. Alas, the disease of pride sneaks into every action. Still, at least I don't want to turn every sentence into a simile.

And on a lighter note:

...Halo, and he pointed out how "cold light of day" [single by Halo] sounds like "Survivor" by Destiny's Child bahaha it's soo true.

And he was completely and utterly correct on that.

Footnotes

¹ I'm still not sure how to deal with tense in these entries.

What's A JNC? (Part 1)

If the overall intelligence of a field of professional work was determined by how well the workers of the profession understood what their qualification actually was in, then youth workers would almost certainly be the thickest profession going. So it's probably a fairly accurate way of judging the intelligence of a profession. The point is though, that if you're a youth worker and you're in training or finished training then you're probably JNC qualified. Except you're not sure if you're qualified by the JNC, for the JNC, with a JNC, in a JNC, or upon a JNC. Also you're not quite sure what JNC stands for, and even if you do not know what it stands for, you haven't a clue who or what they are. So, for reference for everyone who cares, this is what the JNC is.

JNC stands for Joint Negotiating Committee for Youth and Community Workers (JNCYCW doesn't sound so hot). It's a body that was set-up for two purposes; firstly to negotiate conditions of employment for youth workers (which includes things like pay, hours and holiday) and secondly to recognise qualifications that the NYA (National Youth Agency) validate¹.

And it turns out that actually the Joint Negotiating Committee is quite a powerful group. They don't just negotiate these things and hope that authorities will follow through on them. From the annual report from 2005².

(ii) The Committee shall have within its scope:
(a) Persons employed by local authorities in England and Wales as youth and
community workers.
(b) Persons employed as youth and community workers by voluntary
organisations in receipt of a grant from local or central government or the
Welsh Assembly Government.

And also regarding the report itself (not just the committee)³:

[1.1] (b) Although this Report does not apply directly to youth and community workers employed by voluntary organisations outside the scope of [those that receive money from government funds], the Committee recommends that this Report should nevertheless be applied by all voluntary organisations employing youth and community workers.

Essentially, they set the conditions that government, government funded agencies (even only in part ones) and ideally every youth work employer should abide by. They also alone say which courses can officially count as youth work courses.

One exciting fact about the JNC; the JNC is composed of two different sides (hence the Joint Negotiating in the JNC), one side made up of employers (people from the government and national councils for voluntary youth services) and the other made up of staff (people from the Community and Youth Workers' Union, Unison and the two teachers associations). This may not initially sound exciting but I imagine meetings are a bit like the bits in Spooks where they liaise with the CIA, except there are less terrorists involved. Both sides are technically on the same side and fighting for good, but in actual fact, they each have their own agendas and want to win. So I imagine they snipe at each other (but probably not actually snipe, that'd be cool though), shoot each other down (but probably not actually shoot each...) and generally take potshots (...) at each other. Or alternatively the just sit in a conference room and consume too much tea and biscuits and all the digestives go first and sort things out. Whatever.

So, the JNC does two things, conditions and qualifications, both of which need to be explored more later as well as whether you (if you work for a church of a Christian charity) should care about them(four part series!). But to spoil the punch-line and answer the initial question with regards to qualifications, technically, the JNC recognises that you're qualified. Which I think is jolly decent of them.

Footnotes

¹ NYA, What Does JNC stand for [accessed Friday 16th Feb 2007].

² p.7, JNC, Report of the Joint Negotiating Committee for Youth and Community Workers [accessed Friday 16th Feb 2007].

³ p.11, ibid.

See also the JNC article on Wikipedia which I'll try to update later today.

DNA

What You've Missed

So with the world ending for the last few days, this is what you've missed that I haven't.

Mewithoutyou played at the Water Rats last night. The Water Rats is now my new favourite gig venue, being tiny like the Cardiff barfly, but with the ability to see the stage. Also, my faith is now restored in support bands, with two who were actually good playing first and second (not that for the life of me I can remember what either of them were called). Also, and most importantly, Mewithoutyou were phenomenally good, and cheerful and wonderful. That was some good rock music.

Today, I bought Youth Work for the first time in ages (that'll be my pride and arrogance thinking I don't need to read it then). After reading the article on the professionalisation of youth work and ministry by the one of the guys who works at Oasis, I am Jack's seething bile duct. I have to disagree with it, vastly, overwhelmingly. In fairness, it was in response to an article last month that I think I'd agree with much much more, so you can't blame Youth Work magazine. I'd love to write lots about the youth work / ministry divide, but I don't think I can define ministry all that well and I'm not sure I'd add anything to any debate. So I won't maybe.

Today also, I went to the Science Museum with Rachel. We forgot it was half-term though and it's amazing how many small children where there. Seriously, do parents think their two year old will benefit from the Science Museum? Also, why were there no huge long queues for the Victoria and Albert museum? Is science cool and kid friendly and history some how not? (I'm just bitter that some seven year old looked like he knew more about the moon landing than me.)

Fixed

Well, that was the most calamitous week in iamsparticus ever. I'd like to think that there is a certain irony in my domain name going down a day after I write about the glorious five year anniversary of iamsparticus.something, but to be honest, it's not irony it's just common sense. If something needs renewing every year and this is the annual celebration of said event, it probably needs renewing.

I really was quite terrified I'd lost my domain name at one point, I mean, as scared as you get when you're not confronted by the actual prospect of physical harm. I kept on going "oh I could always buy a new domain and just write on my website that we're moving... oh wait." And so forth.

Anyway, with all that calamity out of the way (and the realisation that perhaps I care too much about a domain name), the order of the world is restored and I can go back to saying incredibly dumb things but with such authority that no-one challenges me, therefore reinforcing my feeling of superiority. Ecetera Ecetera.

Back In The Day: Rocks At Windows

So, new series (this year it's all about the series) starting today. It's pretty much exactly five years since I first purchased an iamsparticus domain name, and while this site existed before then on another host – indeed the blog section of this website (which is pretty much the only section but whatever) goes back to 31st May 2001 –, it seems like a natural time to take a look back through history at what life was like five years ago¹. Each Sunday we'll² probably try and pick up on the entry five years ago and see if we can't be a bit self-depreciating. Or maybe I'll be a bit more sympathetic to myself. We'll see. Enough with the introductions though! This time five years ago (It's short, so I'll quote it all).

"And it makes me wonder"
I am going to write a song called "nice pyjamas though (it seemed like a good idea at the time)" it will be about 4 mins 30 long, sound most like a track of Radiohead and "The Bends", probably "High and Dry", it'll sound quite nice on just an acoustic guitar and it'll contain the word "Smut" and "Onion Skin" in it. Or maybe I will make "Onion Skin" into a seperate song. I think I will, and it'll be shorter, or maybe longer, but less rock and roll, or maybe more so. Anyway it's irrelevant because I won't actually write them. Because I'm not very good at song writing

Two things you should know about this entry. First, it's very well written for myself five years ago, there are no allcaps, no excessive use of the word 'like', no spelling 'because' 'coz'³,⁴ and correct capitalisation throughout. Not only that, but it actually made me smile wryly at the end. Second, I wrote this entry at 1.30am after having just walked back from my friend's house which I walked to from my other friend's party because, while we were on MSN at my other friend's party (we had the best parties) my other friend (the one I walked to the house of) starting ignoring me. Possibly. Or possibly she lost connection, or maybe she just went downstairs to make some toast. Whatever. I fancied her, was convinced she was ignoring me, and decided to do something about it. I won't go into details, but Kate's comment probably explains as much as is necessary.

Today's learning outcome; If it's well written, it's only because there is enough embarrassment in the issues surrounding it to make any literary embarrassment unnecessary.

¹ I had this awesome idea the other day for a museum of the recent past, which was devoted to anything made in the last fifty years, minus the last ten. I'd go view it.

² We are the Queen.

³ A habit, which while once was prevalent among everything I wrote, I realised the horror of one day and dropped it never to use it again.

⁴ Another habit of mine, though one that I've just started is using the Oxford comma. Deal with it.

No Time To Think! Just News!

(Still getting the balance right here, expect longer articles more intermittently perhaps?)

Things you should be knowing of this week:

• Crystal meth made class A drug

• Malta does good youth work. Reading between the lines, it's also interesting to see that the UK isn't the only place where youth work is still tied in closely with Christianity.

• It was internet safety day last Tuesday. Not that I noticed, the article's a bit dull but does contain this bit of useful statistics "In the UK 14% of children have been victims of bullying by mobile". Which I think is lower than I would have guessed.

• At some point, there might be some money kicking around your local authority to help target Islamic extremism. I'm wondered if you could get some money for running a conversion project?

• Young people in India are going online to worship. And buy indulgences (or whatever the equivalent seems to be in Hinduism). For a fee ranging from $4 to $300, Indians can perform virtual complex religious ceremonies in any temple in the country.

Things I'm not sure what to make of:

A youth work professor's (who I think teaches one of Hayley's house mates) thoughts on the current state of youth work. I think my thoughts regarding the bishop a few weeks back apply here still.

Wednesday The 7th

This morning in Starbucks I've been trying to master the Imperative mood in New Testament Greek. In honour of this, here are some commands.

• Buy the new Bloc Party album now. (2nd person plural imperative Aorist.) It's good on every single level. The fact that you don't already own it makes you less of the music fan you say you are.

• Ask me a question. Below. Now. (2nd person singular imperative Aorist.)

• Support the Clubhouse. (2nd Person singular imperative Present.) Want to give money to good Gospel work in inner-city London? Of course you do! Give to us online for running the marathon! (2nd person singular imperative Aorist.)

That's it. I'm not a very demanding person.

Ask Mark a Question For Like The Seven Thousandths Time Ever

Closes valentines day! You've only got 8 days to get questioning!
The winner is the real Phil Brown and how many mickles make a muckle? with 2 votes. The poll is now over, stay tuned for the answer.

Drugs! Programmes! Religion!

Drugs

Young People Now has a helpful article about the do's and don'ts of working with young people who are using drugs. Well, I say helpful, it's alright. Nothing revolutionary. Has a few interesting bits in it though, "Yet ignorance abounds. Young people believe 80 per cent of their peers take cannabis when the real figure is actually 30 per cent." Love to see the statistics on that. Also, under the don'ts it says to never try and destroy drugs yourself, advice to which I've been told the opposite by other drugs professionals (with the justification that it's better than carrying it to the police station yourself).

Programmes

The mess we’re in and the culpability of Youth Specialties. A confession that pushing the up-front event-lead programme as the best model for youth ministry is not the best way of doing things. The honesty is wonderful.

Religion

Younger Muslims 'more political'. Interesting I suppose, but I'm not sure you can draw any conclusions from this. Young people are generally more radically and opinionated, I imagine as they settle down, find jobs and get married the figures will drop fairly significantly. In the words of Simple Kid:

"In the Nineteen-Sixties they said hippies hugged trees,
but they all bought the cars in the end."

Also good Evening Standard style over-use of the emotive words in this headline: Teacher Sacked In Race Row Ignoring any sort of actual religious / terrorist issues here (so why it's under the subheading "Religion" I don't know), what I'm loving is the quote by the deputy head at the end.

Also, Steve Chalke's in the Guardian, apparently misquoted though (good work Phil). I'm chasing up what he actually said, more to follow hopefully.

Other

There's money to be had! Windfall of cash that may go to youth clubs, couldn't care? What's more interesting is this; "The money would come from unclaimed assets in dormant bank accounts, and would be managed by the Big Lottery Fund." It's interesting that the Big Lottery Fund is holding more than just lottery-raised money, interesting in an incredibly frustrating way for those charities that would like money but reject lottery funding because of the social injustice that is the lottery. If you can't tell what's lottery and what's not how can you take any of it?

Anorexia information

Uproar over youth club age changes. I like the way the council talks about how "thoughts of young people in the area are being sought", the BBC News reporter just asks the young people.

Friday the 2nd

• This week in youth work is going to have to wait till Saturday as I've all of a sudden realised I've got a huge amount of work to do today, and I've got to be leaving the office at 3.30. Tomorrow, though, it'll be awesome.

• The BBC may have decided not to support Macs, the offices that the BBC Trust who make these decisions use are about 200 metres from my house. I'm tempted to offer my services to people who want to pass on their complaints in person.

• From the Channel 5 documentary "Ghosts of the Underground" this fact about Liverpool Street Underground Station (via Londonist).
  "A recent excavation above Liverpool Street Underground found hundreds of uncoffined bodies from mass burials."
  When you're next waiting for the Central Line then try not to think about the fact that there are decaying corpses ABOVE YOUR HEAD.

More How Many Youth Leaders...

Q) How many youth leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) None, but we can ask the pizza guy to do it when he gets here.

Q) How many youth leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) One, but only because those parents didn't raise their children properly to do it themselves.

Q) How many youth leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) As many as you can fit into a phonebox at one time.

Q) How many youth leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) What 'lightbulbs' are God asking you to change in your life?

Q) How many youth leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) One, and gosh, he's so humble for doing it too, changing his own lightbulb, the vicar isn't this humble, the vicar probably gets someone else to do it, not the youth worker though, no, he changes it himself. Because I'm humble. Damn, I mean he's humble.

Q) How many youth leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) Two, one to change the lightbulb and then make a joke about it in the church announcements that manages to offend the church warden, his wife, and his four children, and one to listen to the other moan about why they're not asked to speak in church more often.

Q) How many youth leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) You know, sometimes change is hard, but the person who had to deal with change the most was Jesus, when he came down to earth in human form. And Jesus wants you to do your quiet time. I mean trust and obey him.

Q) How many youth leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) One, but because he's changing the lightbulb he doesn't get the chance to give the talk at the end of the youth club, which also didn't happen last week, but that's cool, because apparently osmosis is a recognised evangelistic technique.

Q) How many youth leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) I have no idea what you're talking about? Lightbulb? Broken? Oh, but if you're getting the ladder out though, I don't suppose you'd mind seeing if you can find Jimmy's shoes behind the heating pipes up there? No, no, I don't know how they got up there either.

(Previously)