Did you just get proved wrong in a meeting? Did someone just lay smackdown on your poorly thought through point? Don't lose face! (because you should fear losing face over something like this.) Just mutter a non-apology ('oh well, my understanding was...') and then pull a long face. Excellent! Now you have saved yourself from everyone else's imminent scorn and loathing.
Someone raises a point (there are a lack of bananas in the Natural History Museum staff canteen) and a question (how do we get the staff more involved in raising money to buy bananas?). In response to this question ask your own question making sure it has a simple answer (how many staff members like bananas?) then when the person replies (around twenty-five) hammer them with it in the best way they can (well there we go then, if they each raise forty pounds then you have a thousand pounds to spend on bananas, that's the simplest solution). If they object (but how do we get them to raise forty pounds) keep hammering (forty pounds is easy!) and act more smug.
I wrote something vaguely witty here about where a joke was funny and where it wasn't, but I didn't actually write a joke to build the whole thing around therefore making what I wrote at the time entirely unfunny and useless. Let this be a lesson to you all
When not listening to the answer, it helps to have not listened to the question first.
I spent ages writing essays when I was in college. This is what you're meant to do, I understand that and I'm fine with it, but perhaps I spent too much time of those ages worrying about making my essays amusing as opposed to academic. Alas, but my curriculum vitae losses are your gain, for just earlier while trying to track down a quote from Danny Brierly that I knew I'd used in an essay somewhere, low and behold I found a whole essay. Which wasn't really that surprising on balance. I laughed at myself though, so for your edification I'll quote the most enlightening section;
I shall now look at two related youth work based models of ministry and see how this theology of ministry and of relationships fits with them.
Perhaps the most pertinent model of youth ministry is what Pete Ward describes as 'The Relational Model Of Youth Work'. In Ward's own words:
Ward, 1994, Youth Work and How to Do it."This model is based on four very simple principles
- Christian adults meeting young people where the young people themselves hang out and feel comfortable.
- Christian adults forming supportive friendships based on the interests and activities of young people.
- Christian adults taking the time to share the message about Jesus in the terms and ways that make sense within the cultural world of the young people.
- Young people who have heard the message of Jesus and responded to Him starting to form their own worship"
This is a very commonly used youth ministry model but it is necessary to note here that relational youth work is often deemed a failure because it doesn't bring any young people into an actual relationship with God. Relationships are built, but it is still a rare occasion when a young person makes a decision to follow Christ and carries on with it.
Danny Brierly develops the relational model in his book "Joined Up, An Introduction To Youthwork and Ministry" Danny Brierley, 2003, Joined Up: An Introduction to Youthwork and Ministry. I'm unaware if anyone has shown that this developed model of youth work ministry (know as the incarnational model of youth work) comes out of the perceived failure in the relational model of youth work, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone did. If you've got hundreds of young people coming along to an after school club but you aren't getting them anywhere near Christ then what you need is either firm faith that you're "sowing the seeds" for the imminent revival that will magically convert them all or, if you're not a Pentecostal, some way of making your work valid so you can feel like you're doing something valuable for the Kingdom of God. Enter incarnational youth ministry.
"Traditionally, farther and farthest were used in referring to physical distance: the elephants were still two or three miles farther up the path towards Castle Greyskull
. Further and furthest were restricted to figurative or abstract senses: we decided not to consider the matter further, instead preferring to destroy them with our minds
. Although farther and farthest are still restricted to measurable distances, further and furthest are now common in both senses: put the low-grade nuclear weapons the furthest from the window.
. Conversely Führer has never been used to denote distance, physical or otherwise." - The New Oxford American Dictionary, 2nd Edition (adapted).
Apparently when you swim in the sea, your body starts to produce extra ephetic cells that cause your internal temperature to rise quickly, giving your body a sudden burst of warmth and a slight euphoric feeling. Also it causes you to grow by three foot, turn purple and gain the ability to see through certain types of limestone.
I still can't feel my toes.
Or my two farthest right fingers.
Scholars today set the world of Christianity into turmoil when they announced the discovery of a manuscript quoting the biblical book of Hebrews that dates from the late 19th century, pushing back the accepted date of authorship to the early 17th century.
The find came a few months ago when developers unearthed some heavily weathering concrete structures during the initial stages of a building project. A routine archaeological excavation turned into something rather more special when the building proved to be an ancient library containing hundreds of well preserved texts in ancient English. The manuscript, an explanation of the book on Hebrews, was one of the first papers to be translated and it was announced today that the find could be authenticated to the late 19th century.
Phil Smith, site manager at the archaeological dig; "while the structure is from some point in the 20th century, the book is a hundred years or so older than it." What makes the find so controversial is that until last week most ancient Christian scholars believed the book to be no older than the 19th century due it's apparent Romantic style of thought. Speaking from campus Professor Bob Jones, chair of the department of religious studies; "while it was so surprising to get concrete evidence, many of us have been convinced it could have been an early Enlightenment school of theology who first introduced it to the canon of scripture for some time now." He added: "This just goes to show that the discipline of Christian scholarship is still a vital area of research."
When asked about whether this gave credence to the belief that the book was written within living memory of Jesus' life Professor Jones responded "the notion that the book of Hebrews could have been written any earlier than the 16th century is ludicrous . Anyone who believes that the book could have survived before the invention of the printing press in 1564 is only deluding themselves. "
20kad, London, Earth.
Obviously knowing full well that my website would be down for a few days and afterwards people would be gnashing at the bit for more love, wit and joy from this site I spent all my waking hours writing stories involving romance, drama and death defying leaps from flaming cars. They were all terrible though so I scrapped them and wrote a poem about scrapping stories. That was a trite idea though, and I was embarrassed to use it so I dropped it as in idea and pretended rather that I'd scrapped the idea of writing a poem about scrapped stories instead.
I carried on willy-nilly like this before realising that not only was my coffee cold, but also that I'd failed to entertain anyone bar myself. So I resolved to make something better, and then I realised that I'd borrowed Monsters Inc. off a friend and had better things to do with my time.
So I think we're fairly fixed now. I think. Basically, this is how it broke:
This is how I fixed it:
Q) How many youth leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?
A) Dear ,
As you know, in the run up to the 2012 Olympics the borough council is more concerned than ever to tackle serious affecting the borough. Under the current leadership the borough council has spearheaded a task force to tackle lightbulb replacement and has managed to beat the national plan by two years while achieving a desirable cost effectiveness. In partnership with residents, service providers and local community groups in the most deprived wards, the borough has committed itself to a three year plan of delivery in rolling out local leaders who will promote our lightbulb changing plan in their communities.
Please find enclosed thirty-four A3 posters to put up around youth youth club to advertise these changes to young people.
Thank you for your co-operation,
******
Head of Community Services and Lighting.
"The Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 'Say to the people of Israel, Any one of the people of Israel or of the strangers who sojourn in Israel who gives any of his children to Molech shall surely be put to death. The people of the land shall stone him with stones. I myself will set my face against that man and will cut him off from among his people, because he has given one of his children to Molech, to make my sanctuary unclean and to profane my holy name. And if the people of the land do at all close their eyes to that man when he gives one of his children to Molech, and do not put him to death, then I will set my face against that man and against his clan and will cut them off from among their people, him and all who follow him in whoring after Molech.' " (Leviticus 20:1-5)
How then should a man love his wife? As Christ loved the church, by giving himself up for her to make her holy. By setting his heart upon her and redeeming her from her sin and idolatry (Ephesians 5:25 and so on.) The love of Christ for the church, depends not at all on the flaws and imperfections of the church, but on the fact that He has set his love upon the church. And so it should be with man and wife.
Here, then, is how a man should not love his wife. He should not give them standards to meet, or targets to hit, or tell them that his love is conditional on their reaching some pinnacle or something or other. A man should not ask his wife to earn his favour, nor should he ask a prospective wife to persuade him to marry her. That is now how Christ loves his church, that is how to appease Molech. And if that is how you teach and lead your wife then you should not be surprised when she starts whoring after others and sacrificing her children on the fire.
This is a website by Mark Walley. If you want to find out more or get in touch, that'd be nice.
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