Rambo; Born For Our Salvation

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From the wikipedia entry for the new Rambo film "Rambo, now operating boats for tourists in Myanmar, leads a team of mercenaries to Burma to search for missing Christian aid workers. " Which sounds all lovely and fine until you find out that Rambo has been hired by the pastor of a local church, who has collected an offering for Rambo to go in and rescue the Christian aid workers. I'd like to explain how this is horribly wrong and far worse for Christianity than any number of Golden Compasses could be, but I feel a bit ill at the thought of having to write about it. So I made up some other hypothetical film sequel plots that'd be equally damaging:

Home Alone V (we are onto five now right?): The kid who is no longer being played by Mcwhathisfaceculkin decides to show some charity and invites a homeless man over for dinner. Hilarious shenanigans ensue until the family are robbed blind and then shot in the head by one by one by the hobo.

Oceans 14: Clooney's character becomes a Christian and convinced by his pastor he goes and uses all his conning skills to close down all of Vegas for three weeks. Clooney then preaches to them all for a bit, before driving off in his really expensive car. In a sub-plot the IRS try to catch up with him, but he's always one step ahead with his connivingness.

Under Seige 3: Effectively the same film as one and two, but Seagal is doing it all for God!

Left Behind X: Quite.


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